Narrative-first, evidence-driven

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Goal: calm down, get clear, pick one next thing.

If they’re already calm, skip the first bit.

0) Downshift (30 seconds, only if needed)

• “Hang on. You’re spinning a little. Want to reset for a sec?”
• “Quick 0–10: how big is this right now?”
• “If it’s above a 7, we’re not solving it yet. First we help you settle a bit.”

Options that don’t feel weird:

• “Two slow breaths with me.”
• “Water break.”
• “Walk to the kitchen and back.”

1) Start with what’s going on (1–2 minutes)

• “Alright. What’s the headline in your brain right now?”
• “What part is bugging you the most?”

If they drop something intense:

• “Yeah. That would mess with me too.”
• “Thanks for telling me. I’d rather know than guess.”

2) Sort it (3 minutes)

• “Okay, let’s untangle this so it’s not one giant hairball.”

Three buckets:

1) Stuff we know

• “What do we actually know happened?”

2) Stuff we don’t know yet

• “What’s still ‘maybe’ or ‘we’ll see’?”

3) Stuff that’s trying to wind you up

• “What part feels like it’s designed to freak people out?”

Key line (but not Hallmark):

• “Your feelings can be real even if the internet is being weird about the facts.”

3) Pick one next thing (2–3 minutes)

• “What’s one move that makes tomorrow a little better?”

If they say “nothing”:

• “Fair. When it feels like ‘nothing,’ we go smaller.”

Pick one:

• text a friend
• ask one adult one specific question
• mute one account
• do something physical for 10 minutes
• write down the one thing you want answered

Make it concrete:

• “When are you doing it?”
• “Do you want me involved or do you want space?”

4) “Who do you want to be?” (1 minute, no speeches)

• “When things get loud, what version of you do you want driving?”

If they shrug:

• “Cool. Pick one: calm, kind, brave, curious, stubborn-in-a-good-way.”

(If they’re older and allergic to feelings talk:)

• “What’s your ‘don’t be a jerk’ plan here?”
• “What’s the move you’ll still respect tomorrow?”

5) Close it (30 seconds)

• “Alright. We’ve got the next step. We’re done doom-scrolling this for tonight.”

Offer something normal:

• “Snack and a stupid show?”
• “Want company, or do you want quiet?”
• “We’ll do a 5-minute check-in this weekend.”

Tiny parent cheat codes (optional, but useful)

• If they want to argue facts: “I’m happy to check sources with you. But not while you’re on fire.”
• If they’re spiraling: “I’m not trying to win. I’m trying to help you feel steady.”

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