Narrative-first, evidence-driven

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I think we all agree on this: the U.S. government shouldn’t violate constitutional rights. Period.

What’s messing me up right now isn’t even the policy debate. It’s something more basic:

A lot of people genuinely don’t believe any violations are happening at all.

Not they saw it and don’t care. They don’t think it’s real.

Even with first-hand stories. Livestreams. Consistent reports coming from a wide swath of people who normally don’t agree on much.

And once you see that, you start to realize the fight isn’t only about policy.

It’s about shared reality.

The drift I can’t unsee

This keeps reminding me of something I saw at my daughter’s college orientation.

The communications department showed a social media interaction graph over time. Year by year, the clusters drifted apart, not just in what information they consumed, but in who they even talked to.

Blue side mostly talked to blue. Red side mostly talked to red.

And over a few years, they barely interacted at all.

Same country. Different information bubbles. Less and less communication between them.

That’s a big deal, because when you’re living in different bubbles, it changes everything.

Trust breaks upstream. Evidence gets rejected downstream.

I’ve learned the hard way that if trust is broken upstream, evidence gets rejected downstream.

Even video can get filed as staged, cherry-picked, or propaganda before someone ever has to sit with what it’s showing.

So we end up arguing about what’s happening right in front of us.

Not because people are stupid.

Because the sorting happened first:

• who we follow
• what we see
• which sources feel safe
• which people feel like us
• which messengers get dismissed on sight

And then the brain does what brains do: protect the tribe, protect the identity, protect the story.

If you’re in one bubble, the other bubble’s evidence isn’t information. It’s an attack.

That’s the trap.

So here’s what I’m trying to do (because I don’t have a better plan)

I’m trying to build connection on purpose.

Not grand gestures. Just human ones.

1) Start with values I think we share

I try to start with things most decent people actually agree on:

• safety
• dignity
• due process
• free speech
• the right to peacefully protest

I’m not doing that as a trick.

I’m doing it because it’s the only solid ground we have left.

2) Share my reality anchor, and invite theirs

Instead of here’s why you’re wrong, I try:

• Here’s what I’m using as my reality anchor.
• What’s yours?

Not to argue, just to get on the same map.

Because if we can’t agree on how we know what’s true, we’re not having a debate.

We’re having two monologues.

3) Keep it calm, keep it small, keep it human

My rule is: one calm conversation at a time.

No pile-ons. No humiliation. No public shaming.

Public threads turn into a stage fast. DMs stay human more often.

And if it turns into dehumanizing talk, I step away.

Not dramatically. Not with a speech.

Just: boundary, exit, protect the relationship if I can.

What success looks like (for me)

I’m not looking for perfect agreement.

I’m looking for a thin bridge:

• enough trust to ask one real question
• enough respect to hear the answer
• enough honesty to say I don’t know

That’s it.

Because if I want to live on the same planet as the people I care about, I’ve got to talk like a neighbor.

Not to win. To connect.

A small, repeatable practice (if you want to try it)

If you’re trying to do this too, here’s a simple script I’ve been using:

I’m not trying to win. I’m trying to stay connected and stay honest. Can we start with what we both value here? And then can we compare what we’re using as our reality anchors?

And if it goes sideways:

Love you. I’m not doing a fight today.

Take what helps. Leave the rest.

But I’ll say this:

I’m seeing better results when I do it this way.

Not viral results. Not dopamine results.

Human results.

And right now, I’ll take those.

Related Core Model Posts

• The Canyon Isn’t Just Information. It’s Economic.
• Core Model

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